Together at Last

My parents were married in May 1970. My sister was born 14 months later. Then I came to this world in 1974. My sister and I didn’t grow up together though. In fact, I only met her twice during the first six years of my life – once with mom and once with dad. Therefore, the four of us were never all together in one place until 1980. Unbelievable, isn’t it? This is just another example of how individual families were affected by national events.

A map would help to show the different places that were significant to my family.

NE map

  • Harbin (at the top) – the location of my parents’ university where they met and fell in love.
  • Beijing (at the lower left) – my mother’s family, about 1,200 km/750 miles from Harbin.
  • Changchun (southwest of Harbin) – my father’s family. We finally settled here starting 1980.
  • Siping (southwest of Changchun, in red) – a small city where my parents worked and lived from 1970 to 1979.

Our fates were totally altered by my grandfather’s great admiration of Harbin Institute of Technology. He decided to send his oldest daughter there for college education even though there were plenty of great universities in Beijing. The policy then was that college graduates would be assigned jobs in the city where they came from. So my grandpa thought that four years away from home wouldn’t be too bad for my mom. How could he ever know that the Cultural Revolution would disrupt his plan, and everything else pretty soon.

Neither of my parents’ family background was ‘red’ – my mother’s father was an ‘anti-revolutionary intellectual’; my father’s father was accused of being a spy for the Nationalist Party (Kuomintang). By the time they ‘graduated’ in 1970, going back to their home cities was out of the question, especially Beijing. So they had to take on jobs in the small city of Siping. The little 1.5-room shed they were assigned to live had no kitchen, no toilet, no sewage, was hot in summer and cold in winter. It was not a place to raise a child. And when everything was controlled by the state, there was no way of renting or buying a place even if they had the money.

This was why my sister was born and grew up in Beijing with maternal grandparents, while I was born and grew up in Changchun with paternal grandparents. During this time, I made two trips to Beijing and two trips to Siping while my sister never left Beijing nor met her paternal grandparents. My parents finally manged to move to Changchun in 1979 after persistently applying for quota, then my sister left Beijing to join us in 1980. The four members of my family could live together under one roof at long last.

There were lots of incredible stories during these early years of my life. I will definitely write about them in future posts.

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5 thoughts on “Together at Last

  1. Wow, such a complicated early life…and so different from here in the U.S. I’m looking forward to hearing more about the story, including what your parents did while you were all split up, what living with your respective grandparents was like for the two of you, and how things went on those two occasions you met your sister. Not to mention how it worked out when you were all together for the first time.

    Keep the stories coming!

  2. My wife and I both had very similar stories. My dad was sent to a remote forest to be a logger after graduating college with a Math degree because his grandfather owned land. My wife’s parents were sent to the desert town Dun Huang (now famous for Archaeology) for the same reasons. The cultural revolution disrupted the lives of several generations in China.

    • Thanks for stopping by, Dan. I know my parents were among the ‘lucky’ ones even with the hardship they endured. Only recently did I start to get my mom tell me these family stories – I feel the urge to write them down and share with others. Hope to read about your stories sometime! 🙂

  3. Pingback: The First Trip of My Life | Ru...

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